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right now. It feels like we’re on a desert island and we’ve got
all the time in the world.
You will be thinking,
And I’m listening to you, and
you and I are going to get to the bottom of this. But not in
a rushed way, and not because we have to. But because
that’s where the conversation will take us in an open way.
In a way that honors you and acknowledges you, and hears
you, and we just talk. We’re going to exchange some ideas,
I’m going to ask you some questions, and we’re going to find
out what the two of us think about this. I’m not going to tell
you what to do. And I’m not someone who’s got an agenda
that’s hidden that I’m going to reveal to you bit by bit as I
talk to you. I’m wide open. I’m like a camera.
And you are a great leader.
You already know the other kind of leader, the not so
great one; the leader who
comes into meetings carrying
his electronic organizer, and while he’s sitting in the meet-
ing, he’ll be returning e-mails, picking up his vibrating cell
phone every two or three minutes to see who it is, and also
trying to be in the meeting.
He’s thinking he’s multitasking, but really, he’s just
not focused. And everyone who
runs into that leader feels
diminished by the exchange.
We talked to Richie about a leader of his who behaves
that way.
“I always feel about him that he’s someone who has no
time for me,” Richie said. “That’s someone who’d really
rather not be talking to me right now. The minute I sit
down he rattles off a list of ideas he has. He doesn’t care
what I think.”
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That “leader” doesn’t know that of the hundred people
he communicated with that week in some form—some by
e-mail, some by PDA, some by fax,
some by phone, some
in person, some in the hallway—all 100 people have been
distanced by this behavior.
And maybe, deep down, this dysfunctional manager
senses the distancing that’s happening. And so he has an
uneasy feeling. He must fix this sense of things not going
right. But rather than slowing down, he speeds up even
more!
Once we told a manager who behaved this way that he
ought to wear a sign around his neck.
“What do you mean a sign around my neck?”
“You
ought to wear a sign, like people do in treatment
centers when they’re trying to solve a personal issue, and
the sign should say, ‘I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOU.’”
He said nothing.
“You also might want to have your e-mail send an au-
tomatic reply to people saying, ‘I HAVE NO TIME FOR
YOU.’”
“Why would I do that? I could never do that,” he said.
“You’re doing it now. You’re
sending that message
now. This way, you’d just be more up front about it.”
When we coach managers to open up and focus on
their people, like a camera, it actually saves them time in
the long run. Because it takes a lot less time to manage a
motivated, trusting team than it does to work with a de-
moralized, upset team.
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