! Be the change you want to see in the world! Have you heard about
the idea that other people are like mirrors of us? That means that things we don’t
like about them, are often things we have to work on ourselves and/or balance
them out. When I was “stuck” I always got mad at the lack of manners in young
people who didn’t offer their seats to elderly people on the train. Whenever I
observed this, I used to start a negative inner dialogue about “where the world is
going, this can’t be, young people have no manners, why should I get up, I’m 40
years old, blah blah.” Until one day I stopped complaining about the young
people and offered my seat. Man, that felt good
! I’m not responsible for other people’s behavior. I’m only responsible for my own behavior. So by being an
example I win twice: Once by not having this inner nagging dialogue and
secondly, because I feel like I did something right and that feels so good! And
maybe I even served as an example to somebody else to offer his or her seat the
next time. One of the greatest insights that my clients have is when they shift
from
“others have to change” to
“what if I change, maybe then the other also changes”. You can literally see the light bulb going on over their heads.
You cannot change others. The only thing you can to do is accept them as they
are and be the best example and person that you can be. Are you complaining
about your partner, colleagues, or spouse?
Be the best colleague or spouse possible! Are you complaining about your employees? Be the best boss possible! Do you want to be loved just as you are? Start with loving other people just the way they are. Questions: What do you want to change?
Why not start with yourself?
What will you do differently?
