experiencing a fearful bliss in doing what was erratic, informal, and
unexpected. Surrounded by her in
fluence all day, walking past the
spots she frequented, he was always thinking of her, and was obliged
to own to himself that his conscience was likely to be the loser in this
battle.
To be sure she was almost an ideality to him still. Perhaps to know
her would be to cure himself of this unexpected and unauthorized
passion. A voice whispered that, though he desired to know her, he
did not desire to be cured.
There was not the least doubt that from his own orthodox point of
view the situation was growing immoral. For Sue to be the loved one
of a man who was licensed by the laws of his country to love Arabella
and none other unto his life’s end, was a pretty bad second begin-
ning, when the man was bent on such a course as Jude purposed.
This conviction was so real with him that one day when, as was
frequent, he was at work in a neighbouring village church alone, he
felt it to be his duty to pray against his weakness. But much as he
wished to be an exemplar in these things he could not get on. It was
quite impossible, he found, to ask to be delivered from temptation
when your heart’s desire was to be tempted unto seventy times
seven.* So he excused himself. ‘After all,’ he said, ‘it is not altogether
an erotolepsy* that is the matter with me, as at that
first time. I can see
that she is exceptionally bright; and it is partly a wish for intellectual
sympathy, and a craving for loving-kindness in my solitude.’ Thus he
went on adoring her, fearing to realize that it was human perversity.
For whatever Sue’s virtues, talents, or ecclesiastical saturation, it was
certain that those items were not at all the cause of his a
ffection for
her.
On an afternoon at this time a young girl entered the stone-
mason’s yard with some hesitation, and, lifting her skirts to avoid
draggling them in the white dust, crossed towards the o
ffice.
‘That’s a nice girl,’ said one of the men known as Uncle Joe.
‘Who is she?’ asked another.
‘I don’t know––I’ve seen her about here and there. Why, yes, she’s
the daughter of that clever chap Bridehead who did all the wrought
ironwork at St. Silas’ ten years ago, and went away to London after-
wards. I don’t know what he’s doing now––not much I fancy––as
she’s come back here.’
Meanwhile the young woman had knocked at the o
ffice door and
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