Clients‟ experience of counselling within a narrative framework
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containment of being loved, and the
freedom of being loved for who she is as opposed to being loved for what she has or has not achieved. Lines 6-9 113 This original journal analysis demonstrates the desire for containment freedom in lines 1-2 and 7-9. The words both hide and demonstrate the participant‟s wish to take care of herself (lines 1- 2) and even love herself (line 7-9), in that she hides her desires for herself in the care she wants to have for others, like Beauty. By changing from the first person singular in the first two sections to the first person plural in the last section, she emphasises this desire for herself. When she writes in the first person singular she is referring clearly to others but in the last section she incorporates herself into what she is saying, which enables the reader to see behind her care for others and realize that the anguish of others images her own anguish. When this section was first analysed the lines 3-6 were put into the category of fighting containment-freedom. Now I would change this and put the whole entry in the desire for containment-freedom. Her wish that others should not suffer mirrors her own suffering and her hidden desire to allow herself to feel her own affect. Here she seems to recognize her anguish but does not appear to feel it. I felt my anguish (chapter 1) and cared for myself which enabled me to be more sensitive to others‟ anguish. But here the participant still needs to feel her anguish so that she can care for herself appropriately. 4.3.5. Towards containment freedom This category was created from words that suggest movement towards the participants experiencing their own feelings (as in the meeting of Beauty and the Beast) and becoming aware of parts of themselves that had been hidden from awareness, or split off. They are feeling descriptive words that also suggest movement (see table vi below): 114 Table vi. To show words suggestive of emotional movement. Frightened Sad Uncoiling Deeper happiness Lonely Something clicked Free flowing Weeping Burning tears Hurt Outpouring Daring to voice it Wake up call Awkward Too tired to pretend Pain Feel like a little girl Trusted myself Shame Embarrassment Oh sod it This was a difficult category to pin down in this first study but there was enough of a sense of it being present to keep it rather than discard it. It was a felt sense of the participants letting go of overcontained parts of themselves and becoming aware of, and feeling their own affect. In theoretical terms the clients were shifting away from negative or damaging internal objects to internalising a more cohesive sense of self through the interaction within the counselling relationship. Perhaps participants‟ interaction with themselves in their journal writing also contributed to their emotional movement as can be seen on the extract below: 115 Extract 6. Journal entry to show the category of towards containment-freedom Lines Words from the journal Analysis 1. justified 2. understood 3. fearful 4. tearful 5. weak 6. stupid 7. in touch with myself 8. able 9. hopeful 10. Empowered This section starts with the client Yüklə 1,47 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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